


Tell You Tomorrow

by AngelsSelene



Series: Malec Drabbles [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: A whole bunch of sad, Alec has the ring before he asks about moving in, Angst, M/M, Possibly not so sad ending, sorta canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 08:44:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18465472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsSelene/pseuds/AngelsSelene
Summary: Prompt by 💜:“I would live for you but would you die for me?”Summary:As a mortal, dying is easy so when someone tells you “I love you so much, I’d die for you”, it doesn’t really mean much. What counts is that they are willing to live for you, with you until the end of time because of how much they love you. However, as an immortal… staying alive is easy. So, would you die for the one you love?





	Tell You Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a random plot that came to me while I was studying cause I couldn’t stop thinking about the prompt. I am in no way saying that Magnus should give up with magic and become mortal for Alec. I am not saying that one of them loves the other more. I am writing based on the sad look on Alec’s face when Magnus said “Maybe”, when he asked if his magic is worth dying for.
> 
> Comment - Kudos - Tweet me @Lady__Hel etc etc
> 
> xoxo

“Is it really worth dying for?”

Alec stood behind Magnus, trying to identify the expression that had on his face through the reflection on the glass in front of him. His throat was tight; so constricted that it felt like he could not speak without choking. His hands trembled, until he squeezed them into fists to gain some sort of semblance of control over his emotions. _Emotions are nothing but a distraction, Alec._ His heart… his heart felt like someone had plunged their hand into his chest and ripped it out. His own guilt about not knowing how much pain Magnus was in was dragging him underwater and all he wanted was to breathe. He just wanted to breathe. The longer Magnus took to answer… the more his pain amplified.

“Magnus, answer me.”

Alec stared at his boyfriend, pleading silently for him to release him from all this emotions that were threatening to drown him. _Please Magnus… tell me I am enough… tell me we are enough._

“Maybe.”

That was the final nail in the coffin. The breath he did not realise he was holding rushed out as his body relaxed. All the tension from before just disappeared as his body simultaneously chilled; so cold to the bone. _Was this the fear talking? Or was it resolve?_ The tears that previously pooled in Alec’s eyes just disappeared. Words continued to flow out of his mouth but Alec was hardly there to understand what happened. All he knew was that eventually whatever he said had Magnus agreeing that he needed to give up Lorenzo’s magic.

The box he had in his pocket, burned as he twitched trying not to cover his pocket with his hand. Although he knew that Magnus was too lost in his sadness to notice that Alec has a box in his pocket, he did not want to bring any possible attention to it. With glazed eyes, he watched as Lorenzo took back his magic from Magnus. He watched the slump of Magnus’ shoulders after Lorenzo made his way out of the infirmary. He watched the way Magnus leaned against the bed in order to try and keep himself upright. He watched how exhaustion was written in every line of Magnus’ body. _This is what I missed. This is what I refused to see. This is what I refused to believe._ His eyes took in the lack of poise and confidence in his magnificent boyfriend. Alec can think the world of Magnus Bane but nothing would matter if Magnus cannot see himself the same way.

With an arm over his boyfriend’s shoulder, Alec led him out of the infirmary and back to his room. Both of them were silent. Magnus, slowly losing his mind to his insecurities, depression and self-loathing while Alec, quietly blamed himself for not making an effort to get his boyfriend his magic back. Even an attempt would have lessened his guilt. As he observed Magnus go through the motions of getting ready for bed, he looked out the window.

“Magnus, I would have done everything I could to live for you. It is extremely common for Shadowhunters to die in their early years of life and I would have fought it with everything in me just so that I could grow old next to you. I never expected you to give up your immortality for me but you did. I wish it didn’t hurt you, but it did… it does. I’m so sorry for that. I’m so sorry that I was behaving like a naive kid. You’re a Warlock and you’re immortal. I really should have made my peace with it. I didn’t… and I’m extremely sorry.”

Magnus looked up at Alec. Shaking his head, he got under the covers. Tomorrow, he would tell Alec that he was wrong. Tomorrow, he will tell Alec that it is not his fault. Tomorrow. He will say all that tomorrow because right now, Magnus just feels so tired. His body feels like lead and he just wants to lay down and be unconscious for a bit.

_I will tell you tomorrow, Alexander, that you’re the only reason I’m not begging my father to undo the deal. You’re the only reason I’m even a little okay with living a mortal life. I will mourn my magic and eventually I’ll be okay. I will tell you tomorrow._


End file.
